Do you realize Theo that what I'm doing is new. I feel the force to work growing daily within me. Happens in a bright daylight, the sun flooding everything in a light of pure gold.ĭear Theo, Thank you for the money, and the paints and canvas. We were worried about nothing, h-h-he was just teething, that was all. At least if you'd gotten back the cost of paint and the canvasses. I acted like a joke with this whole sorry business if it wasn't for the trouble I've caused you. He stands there, you smash his teeth in, or he does it to you - either way it's alright: there's a *decision*. And I know why: because suddenly there's something in front of you, something you can hit at. Even that piddling brawl out there made me feel better than I have in weeks. Last winter in Martinique, I got into a fight with some sailors. I have too much inside me, I'm afraid of it.Īh, that's why I let it out before it hurts me. I have this, th-this attraction to violence. oh Vincent, why do I do it? Now here I pride myself on my sense of logic and order, and inside I'm a savage. Huh, better setup in here before the Louvre grabs it.
, a masterpiece, straight from the salon. It won't be for long, just long enough for me to find a little order in my life a little peace. Vincent don't, you mustn't think like that. Believe me, I'll be better off in an asylum. How, Theo? Will you and Johanna take turns watching me? Make sure the symptoms aren't coming back? When your baby's born.
You'll see that none of this ever happens again.
Vincent, you could come and live with us in Paris and have a reasonable life. Anymore of these attacks could leave me helpless, like a crab on its back, unable even to do away with myself. You're doing very well, and quite soon you'll be able to travel.
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